Nicole J. Burton

The Publishing Game, Part 1

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:03:02 -0500

I really like Seth Godin's Advice to Authors regarding publishing. My printer, Lightning Source, is great to work with. They're owned by the book distributor Ingram, and the services are seamless.

Not so with wholesaler Baker & Taylor. This company doesn't behave as if it wants to stay in business. They don't answer phone calls or emails; I can't find the info I need on their website; they don't post prices or fees; and they have a reputation for being slow to list books and pay publishers. Fern at the Writing and Publishing Group on Facebook suggests skipping Baker & Taylor unless you have to use them.

"Speaking of Adoption" Radio Interview

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:50:59 -0500

Listen on the Web to my interview on Tuesday, July 22, 2:00-3:00PM ET on "Speaking of Adoption" with Donna Montalbano. Rhode Island's WOON 1240 AM Radio - Live and Archived

Donna's list of past guests is a Who's Who of adoption authors and leaders. Listen to past programs by visiting her site.

American Adoption Congress in 2009

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 16:30:48 -0500

The American Adoption Congress 30th Annual Conference is in Cleveland, Ohio next year on April 22-25, 2009. If you're in the adoption constellation, you owe it to yourself to consider attending. Check out the comments from this year's conference. I attended for the first time this year. I thought I knew almost everything important about adoption - I've lived with it, written a book, helped a few people search, gone to support group meetings. But I was blown away by what I learned. It shook my assumptions to their foundations, in a good way. I was also warmly welcomed and befriended some extraordinary people. Next year, I'm bringing my family - and we're going to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame as well! You should think about coming too.

Company on the Trail

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:12:40 -0500

In publishing Swimming Up the Sun, I often hear from people who want to search for family members. Perhaps they've tried, and it didn't work out. I always tell folks that time plays an enormous role in the success of reunion. Time and company. You don't have to walk the road of reunion alone; in fact, I highly advise against it. It's too easy to get discouraged [dis - couraged, to lose one's courage] or to miss an important clue or opportunity because of the whirl of emotions. In the DC area, we have the Adoptee-Birthparent Support Network and Concerned United Birthparents. The American Adoption Congress links a nationwide network of similar organizations. These are organizations of our peers. They hold monthly meetings, help us search, support us when the going gets tough (it always gets tough!), and rejoice with us at every breakthrough, no matter how small. I completed my search before attending ABSN meetings but those adoptees and birthmoms carried me through some dark times. They walked with me along the seemingly endless road to openness and love. It's an adventure but it's scary. You don't have to do it alone, so don't.

Making Room in Our Hearts by Micky Duxbury

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:06:34 -0500

As an person raised under closed adoption, I never knew openness of the kind Micky Duxbury writes about in Making Room in Our Hearts. I love the case studies and photos because we humans are storytelling creatures. We learn best through engaging tales. I learned that openness can exist in adoption, with birth and adoptive families discovering together how best to support the growth of the adopted young person - wow, what a concept! "Open Adoption" it turns out is not a one-size-fits-all, utopian arrangement but a supported process of learning to be flexible, compassionate, and respectful to the people who love the people we love. Highly recommended.

We're Not Blank Slates - We Remember

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:51:37 -0500

I often write about memory. My play-in-progress, FRED AND FRIEDA, is about a Holocaust survivor who suppressed her memories and now wants to remember. Adoptees aren't blank slates. We remember what happened to us, the loss. Sometimes we remember in ways that don't have words, because we didn't have words. But we remember... everything, at least we can if we choose to. For most of us, we were minding our own business, getting born, and suddenly, a nuclear explosion happened. When the dust cleared, everything we'd ever known was gone: parents, siblings, siblings-to-be, grandparents, family friends, ancestors, hometown, pets, music, language, culture, jokes, mountains... all gone forever. In their place was a new family. They were kind and we liked them. We weren't supposed to talk about the explosion and if we did, we weren't supposed to let on how much it mattered. Reuniting with our birth families is a conscious act of remembering. That's why it's so hard.

Author Signing at Bethany Beach, DE

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 15:43:44 -0500

I'll be signing copies of Swimming Up the Sun at Bethany Books, 99 Garfield Parkway, Bethany Beach, DE on Tuesday, June 24, at 7PM. Do stop by!

Swimming Up the Sun Events

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 08:45:36 -0500

I'll be reading and signing books at The Book Nook Bookstore, a new bookstore in Hyattsville, Maryland on Saturday, April 19, 1:30 - 3:00 P.M. It's part of the first Arts District Hyattsville Festival, with dancing, music, and great food. I'll also be at the Riverdale Park Arts Festival on Sunday, May 3, 11:00 - 6:00 P.M. Come on by!

Adoption in the Global Community

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:01:47 -0500

This was the theme of the phenomenal American Adoption Congress conference I attended last month in Portland, Oregon. The biggest surprise was how much I learned. I've written a book, Swimming Up the Sun: A Memoir of Adoption; I've lived adoption for decades; how could I be so ignorant?

The keynote address from Sharon Kaplan Roszia on "The Constellation of Adoption" floored me. Sharon's author of The Open Adoption Experience, and directs The Kinship Center in California. I learned it's not an adoption triad, it's a constellation, affecting spouses, our children, grandchildren, teachers, and so many others. And adoptees aren't in charge of managing or soothing the feelings of their various parents - neither as children nor as adults. As someone who's always felt responsible for my adoptive and birth parents' feelings, Sharon gently lifted a hundred pound weight from my shoulders.

Swimming Up the Sun was well received. Between the author signing at Broadway Books and the Conference Book Room, I almost sold out of the books I'd brought with me!

Swimming Up the Sun just published

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:47:42 -0500

Swimming Up the Sun is now available for purchase at amazon.com!

American Adoption Congress, Here I Come

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:52:51 -0500

I'm going to the American Adoption Congress (AAC) Conference in Portland, Oregon, March 26-29. Hundreds of people interested in adoption reform will converge to attend sessions such as "Adoption is a Feminist Issue" and "What Makes an Open Adoption Survive and Thrive," as well as keynote speeches by adoption community leaders. It's my first time attending--I'm pretty excited! The expertise and experience of folks coming to the conference is breathtaking; one of the presenters is Betty Jean Lifton whose fantastic books have been my companions throughout my search and reunion. I'm looking forward to meeting her and many others.

I plan to do lots of networking and sign books in the AAC Book Room. I'm also having an author signing at Portland's Broadway Books at 1714 NE Broadway on Tuesday, March 25 at 7:30pm. Please spread the word if you have friends in Portland. Swimming Up the Sun is now being printed (it looks gorgeous!) and copies will be available for order on Amazon.com and through bookstores by March 21.

You Don't Have to be Adopted

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:20:30 -0500

You don't have to be adopted to connect to the themes of mysterious origins and a yearning to belong. Perhaps your father died when you were young and your mother refused to talk about him. Or your mother had an early, unhappy marriage of which you are a lasting reminder. Or you fled a lonely childhood and spent life wandering in search of an identity that felt like a memory.

You don't have to be adopted to feel like a stranger or hear the whispers of your blood calling in the quiet of an winter morning. The updated pub date for Swimming Up the Sun: A Memoir of Adoption is March 15, 2008.

Christmas Traditions for a Jewish Adoptee

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 11:26:59 -0500

I loved Christmas in England. Liberated from boarding school, I loved decorating the tree with family ornaments; the Pez and tangerine in my stocking; and the white pillowcase near the fireplace Christmas morning filled with toys. Lunch in the dining room, turkey or roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, and flaming Christmas pud; all of Boxing Day to recover, too. I knew nothing of Jewish traditions till I immigrated to the U.S. at age 12 where I met my first Jewish friend Lisa and learned my first Hanukkah song. Like a spy coming in from the the cold, I sang at the 1968 Lexington High School Holiday Concert, "Banish darkness, banish night, Hanukkah is the Feast of Light." Listen to the first two chapters of Swimming Up the Sun: A Memoir of Adoption, to be published in early 2008.

Adoption in India

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:04:35 -0500

My new friend Mary is from India where, she says, children are rarely told they're adopted. "Children are considered priceless treasures," she told me "and adopted children are protected very closely," even from knowledge of their own genesis. Well meaning, but how effective? I always felt different as a child and was glad my parents had told me at an early age all they knew. Or almost all. Read or listen to the first three chapters of my forthcoming adoption memoir, Swimming Up the Sun available in early 2008.

Swimming Up the Sun release date

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 23:37:10 -0500

My publisher confirms that Swimming Up the Sun will be available in early 2008.

Look for it at amazon.com or a bookstore near you.